Hard truth
Lets start with the simple truths our children are not all winners so don’t tell them that or award them for just being involved, growing up needs disappointment and competition both to round us out so tell them they can achieve anything they want if they work for it, tell them you love them everyday and hug them all the time (even when there teenagers) talk to them about any subject and make them aware nothing is out of bounds to discuss (If you start early enough they will come to you before they do something dumb) A strong bond with our children will make the difference, there fear of disappointing you will keep them safe.
Talk more with your kids about everything and listen more without judgement, then explain your reasoning , most of them will get it on there own
Also a slap on there ass wont destroy them for life, there has to be consequent for there actions, more later